Well how fast things can
change! As you may know, my GP came a-visiting
on Wednesday to tell me she had arranged a 3 month course of vitamin B12
injections, along with regular blood tests to keep a proper track of it. Added to which, she has done a referral for an
investigation I have been hoping for over the last 18 months now. How overjoyed was I !!! It is such a good feeling when something you
have strived for so long is finally recognized, accepted as a possibility that
needs investigation and put into motion.
My good mood knew no bounds and I slept well that night.
Then Thursday morning broke
(well, noonish) and a knock at my door…………a Community phlebotomist come to take
my bloods! Yikes, how efficient is this?!
But wait, “having come to take the first blood tests are you not also going
to give me an injection”? “Oh no” says
the young lady, “we have your prescription but need to wait for the results
first”. “Um I don’t think that was the
GPs idea”, says I. “Oh dear, that’s what
my colleague told me”. OK, so not the
end of the world thinks I, just have to wait a few days longer, but annoying because
the idea is to have this course no matter what my current level is, so there is
no point in waiting for a result.
STRIKE ONE –
slightly wobbly but just a little, so "wait, we can do this”!…………………..
So the phlebotomist leaves with
phials of my hard earned blood and I open my emails to find one from my GP…………………..SHE’S
LEAVING!!!!!! She didn’t want to tell me
when she came because she saw I was struggling and didn’t want to overload me
further. Lovely sentiment Dr. Hoff, but
do wish she had told me so at least I could have thanked her in person for such
wonderful help and support over the last 3 years. I understand she wishes to spend more time
with her children and the surgery would not offer her that flexibility, but oh
boy do I feel abandoned and a little frightened. Apparently my new doctor is a newly qualified
child.
STRIKE TWO –
Definitely on very boggy and treacly ground, up to my waist………………..
3 hours later another message pings
into my Inbox……….”Just a short note” from my Adult Services Support Worker…….
SHE’S LEAVING!!!! Well, not actually
leaving, but she’s off my case, onto “another project” and already handed me to
another worker, whom “will contact me soon”.
STRIKE THREE –
And I'm OUT! The Darkness descends totally, mire over my head - sucking me deeper fast!
Definitely feeling an
overwhelming sense of loss and NOT a happy bunny. Losing BOTH my closest and most influential
support in one day is just too much. The
idea of having to go through everything all over again with TWO new people is
just……………well, both terrifying and daunting. (And today of all days). How on earth am I going to reach the same level of understanding and commitment, knowledge and comprehension with the two most influential people in my world at present? L
And so a bad, dark and melancholy
24 hours followed, but tinged with bits of bright sunlight in a friend coming to visit
and a lovely hand-drawn card from my eldest son.
So Saturday dawned (and yes folks,
I actually SAW it dawn!) very early. I’d
had a very disturbed night, mainly for “comfort breaks”, but usually I’ll just
fall straight back to sleep. Not really
sure what caused me to awaken as I did but I had a lovely cup of tea, door wide open, feet up watching
dawn’s early light, smelling the fresh, cool air and realizing life is fine
really. Obstacles have been hurled at me,
hidden to trip me up and cleverly disguised as aid, but I’m still here, the
world is spinning slowly and offering an amazing place to explore and
experience. All I have to do is take the
support you all provide, use it to climb out of the darker times, grow stronger both mentally and physically and
get out there and again LIVE LIFE to its utmost and fullest extent.
I know we can ALL understand the “despondent”
times, the “why me?” times, the “I just cannot go on like this!” times, but
stick in there everyone. There is just
waaayyy too much still to enjoy and whatever garbage is thrown at us,
Together WE CAN Endure and Overcome, Enjoy and Experience!
